@hobo_hands: Linda from the office calls it a shawl but I know a shitty cape when I see one.
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@robdelaney: As of last night my mom has more Aerosmith tattoos than my sister again. For now anyway.
@thebeckyard: I was completely offended, but then you said "no offense," so now everything's cool.
@ch000ch: i tried to ask a girl out today but i messed up my words and accidentally summoned a demon. anyway, whats a good first date for a demon
@Mr_Kapowski: *sees Deer Crossing sign* *further down the road sees deer nailed to crucifix* "Oh wow, they weren't lying"