@BoomBoomBetty: “LINES OF COKE” is the only acceptable answer to yell from the bathroom when someone asks you a stupid question like what are you doing in there
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@ColoChiver: My boss told me to dress for the job I want, not the job I have. Now I'm sitting in a disciplinary meeting in a Batman costume.
@shutupmikeginn: A dog is in my studio apartment and he keeps looking around for other rooms. I wish i was doing a little better too dude !
@Hobo_Splendido: The Church used to teach that all babies that die go to Limbo, but it was easy for them because they're so short.