@ShesARealGenius: Lisa never talks about her younger brother, Lava Lampanelli.
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@iwearaonesie: wife: Why are there dishes in the sink? my son’s last words: Because you didn’t do them
@ArfMeasures: Me: I think that's Dave Wife: It's not Dave Me: Gonna wave to him Wife: Don't! Me: Hey Dave! Auctioneer: New bidder at $80,000 Me: It's not Dave
@CVTBaby: You know how you have that ONE hoodie that no matter when or what you're eating -- you ALWAYS spill something on it? It's cuz you're a pig.