@ShesARealGenius: Lisa never talks about her younger brother, Lava Lampanelli.
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@Brampersandon_: [Cute Girl]: *in hot tub* Hey baby. Why don't you come join me? [Lobster]: No I'm good over here. That's how my dad died.
@markydoodoo: Swiss cheese is cheating cheese cause there's holes where there could be more cheese stay woke.
@LostFelicia: People that use abbreviations like ppl, wyd, hmu, and idk - what do you do with all that time you saved?
@GingerHotDish: The cabana boy was flirting with me at the pool, and my daughter told him he should go get some water if he was that thirsty. I can’t stop laughing.