@weinerdog4life: Listen buddy, I don't know why I'm doing karate in your bedroom either, sometimes things happen
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@shopkins776: I never make New Year's resolutions. I just carry the ones over from the previous year and add "This time I'm serious"
@richforri: I like Tweets that are so good that when I send them to FB my old friends won't talk to me on the phone for a week.
@3sunzzz: 1900: Let's filter coffee. 1950: We need to filter cigarettes. 1970: We should really filter water. 2015: I want to filter my face.