@lisaxy424: Listen jogger, I'm eating fast food alone in my car, the last thing I need is eye contact.
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@Chumpstring: [sinking ship] CAPTAIN: dammit RAT: i'm leaving CAPTAIN: i'm staying CAPTAIN'S GOLDFISH: [in fishbowl] i'm excited to see how this plays out
@Pork_Chop_Hair: Let’s take a moment to be thankful that ponytails don’t wag like dog tails when we’re excited.
@huntigula: Fun bible fact: No records exist of Jesus' life from age 12 to 30 because he was backpacking across Europe with his pet Pterodactyl