@lisaxy424: Listen jogger, I'm eating fast food alone in my car, the last thing I need is eye contact.
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@AdamSerwer: In Trump's America, undocumented workers get rounded up. Employers who hire undocumented workers get cabinet nominations.
@SadMeterologist: TRUTHFUL TUESDAY: When my son was 7 he pissed me off so badly I pressed all the elevator buttons knowing every new rider would blame him.
@theshamingofjay: I can't go to sleep if any of my apps need to be updated, but will drive my car with the check engine light until it explodes
@thetobbie: The thing about human relationships is that one person can be so overcome by a moment while the other person is thinking about KFC...