@KKAlThani: LISTEN LADY IF YOU DIDN'T WANT ME SITTING ON YOUR BABY YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE CALLED ASKING FOR A BABYSITTER
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@WilliamRodgers: I love when people spend 7 minutes trying to back into a parking space just so they can leave "quicker"
@AndyAsAdjective: "How did your *looks down at notes scribbled on hand* favorite sports team do in their *looks down again* sporting contest today?"
@jonnysun: opening a deli called "Work" a steakhouse caled "The Gym" adn a fried chicken place caled "A Funeral" for ppl who like to eat & need excuses
@JimHeskett: My buddy used to say "why should I wash my towels? After I shower, I'm the cleanest thing in the room." He's still single.