@NotJPo: Listen up, single people. You can only sleep with so many people. Sooooo many people. So so so many.
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@hardlyrelevant: (in dog boss' office) "Smith, you're fired." Fine. I guess I'll just WALK out... (boss' tail starts wagging) "Wait Smith get back here"
@cluedont: You don't fully know your own strength until someone tries to pull you onto a dancefloor against your will.
@TheToddWilliams: [backstage at GOP debate] AIDE: Mr. Trump needs his hair. CAT: I'm puking as fast as I can.