@Parkerlawyer: Listening to my husband's gorilla snoring and contemplating if I could record it and sell to the FBI as an alternative to waterboarding.
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@KalvinMacleod: I’m so hungry I could eat a hor— *horse walks by snorting aggressively* ticulturalist *horticulturalist pops up trimming hedge aggressively*
@pinkmoon_33: 3 out of 4 voices in my head want to sleep. The other wants to know if penguins have knees.
@Shelts99: Neighbour:How's the wife? Me:Glowing Neighbour:Pregnant? Me:No, she's on fire, just going for more wood Neighbour:You're sick Me:You're next