@Parkerlawyer: Listening to my husband's gorilla snoring and contemplating if I could record it and sell to the FBI as an alternative to waterboarding.
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@philmann: Don't be fooled - orca whales are just penguins set to widescreen 16:9 instead of the usual 4:3.
@BonaFideIntent: Daily 'Facts About CHEESE' Fact About Cheese #3: "String Cheese. Is not made of string."
@sammyrhodes: I wonder if girls got mad on dates in the 1700?s because guys kept checking their treasure maps.
@just1fool: The last beer didn't tell me why life is so confusing but it told me the next one would.