@3sunzzz: Listerine, for when you feel like killing all 10,000 taste buds at once.
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@sixfootcandy: Me: *practicing selfie poses in the gym mirror* Trainer: Ma'am, are you having a stroke?
@pleatedjeans: At marathons I like to put glitter in cups so when participants grab one and throw it in their face they get a party instead of hydration
@SarcasticAlly12: When a kid wants to snuggle it means you're about to get warmth in your heart and an elbow to every single one of your other organs.