@3sunzzz: Listerine, for when you feel like killing all 10,000 taste buds at once.
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@SassMouth8: Told my kid not to touch the floor of the bathroom, so he licked the doorknob instead. The dumb is strong in this one.
@junejuly12: [road trip] My dad: Seatbelts? What seatbelts? Kids don't need seatbelts. [hospital] My dad: Concussion? What concussion?