@ShadowTodd: Literally my professional life
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@TheDreamGhoul: BRENDA: I brought cookies! ME: I guess I can have one, I've been good all week *eats cookie* *eats entire tray of cookies* *eats Brenda too*
@Lipgloss_Nerd: Even in the darkest moments there's always a light at the end of the tunnel, but yours will probably be an oncoming freight train.
@tastefactory: I have a clear conscience until a police car pulls behind me. Then I'm like "OH GOD WHAT IF I MURDERED SOMEONE DID I MURDER SOMEONE"
@robfee: Pretty sure airport food was priced by children just learning about numbers. "Ok Brian, how much should this apple cost?" SIXTY TWO DOLLARS!