@weinerdog4life: Literally thousands of chameleons in your house right now and you don't even know it.
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@jakob_huber: Just vacuumed for the first time in a really long time and apparently I have hardwood floors?
@JohnHilsen: You gotta admit that humans are the ultimate #1 lifeform because we're essentially half mermaid but we also have legs for kicking and stuff.
@Book_Krazy: Me: I'll take 'Marriage' for 800 Alex Alex: Having one wife too many Me: What is bigamy Alex: Nooo. We were looking for, what is monogamy
@BlACk__ThRoaT: When I'm home alone and I walk into the basement, I start talking out loud about all the karate I know.