@NymphoFor: Little do you know that in my head I've already married you, divorced you, and hidden your body.
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@jazmasta: [at Indian restaurant] "Those triangular pastry parcels with the spicy filling were delicious!" "Samosa?" "Oh no thanks, I'm full"
@okaypup: "Do not purchase if seal is broke" *looks over at homeless seal* *places canned pickles back on the shelf*
@_davidlucas_: Don't forget to contemplate the meaning of life while standing in the cycle lane with your car door wide open today.
@iGreenMonk: Wouldn't it be cool if Zombies & Vampires become human if we bite them first? Somebody needs to test that one.