@QwertyJones3: Little known fact, Alvin wore the big A on his shirt because he slept around.
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@boring_as_heck: Oh, I can't check my disobedient child with the rest of my luggage? You're saying I have to carry-on my wayward son?
@Cpin42: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Because you got picked on in high school? Cop: *sniffles* Shut up.
@nocturnology: Turns out indoor stone throwing is a mistake no matter what your house is made of.