@QwertyJones3: Little known fact, Alvin wore the big A on his shirt because he slept around.
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@KalvinMacleod: [date] HER: I’m studying to be a scientist but really love comedy ME: [trying to impress her] Botany good textbooks lately?
@thenatewolf: Salesman: first time buying a motorcycle? Me: that obvious? Salesman: nobody asks "how loud is the vroom?" they ask "what's the vroomage?"
@krisv_723: *My neighbor rolls over in bed. Me: You really shouldn't sleep with the windows open. Now quit hogging the covers.
@McSwtrvst: I will raise my son to treat your daughters like spoiled princesses, but only if you don't raise your daughters to think they are. Deal?