@valerie_tosi: Little known fact: Arizona's state flower is pavement.
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@ArfMeasures: DOCTOR: Well, I can't find anything wrong with you. I suspect the problem is heavy drinking ME: Should I come back when you've sobered up?
@decentbirthday: Bowser: Honey, the toilet's clogged Wife: Call someone to fix it Bowser: *dialing number* Well this is gonna be awkward