@JennInTheCorner: Little known fact: Fergie stopped making music cuz she ran out of words she knew how to spell.
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@FrenulumBreve: Executioner: final words? Executionee:Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Er: you done? Ee: didn't buy me as much time as I thought actually.
@envydatropic: If you read enough tweets you can tell the approximate time the tweeter switched from coffee to alcohol
@rickkondell: It's nice that my vacuum has a headlight just in case I want to clean in the dark or wake my dog up thinking he's getting hit by a train.