@JennInTheCorner: Little known fact: Fergie stopped making music cuz she ran out of words she knew how to spell.
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@KyleMcDowell86: *pulls fire alarm in apt building* *everyone runs outside* [Me on megaphone]IVE GATHERED U HERE B/C SOME OF U STILL HAVE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS UP
@dumbbeezie: When you say you don't feel good "Are you pregnant?" -people without kids "Do you have to poop?" -people with kids
@animaldrumss: [ronald mcdonald in fake mustache sidles up to group of teens] mcdonalds sucks right guys? Let's discuss ways they could improve their image