@JennInTheCorner: Little known fact: Fergie stopped making music cuz she ran out of words she knew how to spell.
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@deardilettante: The only good thing about people who wear too much cologne is that they're easier to set on fire.
@BlindChow: dog: i saw u out there me: what? dog: i saw u pet the neighbor dog me: i was just– dog: did u rub his belly? DID U ASK IF HE WAS A GOOD BOY?
@foodfacenow: Interviewer: What drives you? Me: The bus mostly Interviewer: I mean what motivates you to get out of bed in the morning? M: missing the bus