@dafloydsta: Little Red Riding Hood is my favorite story about an idiot who can't tell the difference between a human and a wolf.
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@imadepoopstoday: [job interview] "We feel that you just aren't quite mature enough for the position." It's the Velcro shoes, isn't it. "...yes."
@FeverFlave: Why does Mommy always say no? Well Son, if Mommy said yes all the time you'd have 20 more siblings.
@SadPeruna: If da Vinci were alive today, the "Mona Lisa" would have been called "IMG-20121020-00463.jpg"