@dafloydsta: Little Red Riding Hood is my favorite story about an idiot who can't tell the difference between a human and a wolf.
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@KellieMounce: Worst part of my old job was drug screenings. Had to tell a guy he was pregnant. Lesson: don't use your girlfriend's urine for testing.
@MicheleAKALips: Sometimes when I'm bored I send a text to a random number saying, "ok they're dead, what do I do with the body?"
@Ratchet7Don: The cashier seemed to appreciate that I bagged my own groceries until I unpacked them all and said, "That's how I want you to do it."
@PFitzpa: My husband & I have a secret signal we use when it's time to leave a party. I pull an air horn out of my purse and blast it.