@dafloydsta: Little Red Riding Hood is my favorite story about an idiot who can't tell the difference between a human and a wolf.
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@DadInUtah: Me: What are you doing in your pajamas still? 3 year old: Eating frosting. Me: Fair enough.
@XplodingUnicorn: My 3-year-old was counting on her fingers in the other room. She finished at 9. I am concerned on so many levels right now.
@kelkulus: Female praying mantises bite the heads off males while mating, so if your mantis boyfriend shows up without a head, he was cheating on you.
@ramjitsingh_: It's bad when you accidentally tell a 9 year-old child, "Stay in drugs, don't do school" in a serious tone.