@TheMichaelRock: Live a little, ask her "are ya done?" while she's still yelling at you.
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@CM2BTTHD: Co-worker had a meltdown over someone having a b-day cake. Said since she has no willpower, stop bringing cake in. Tonight, baking cookies.
@katy_baybay: I like my men like I like my coffee. Tied up in a burlap sack and dragged through Columbia behind a donkey.
@NickSwardson: Congrats to the person that invented the wobbly restaurant table. It's basically everywhere now.
@slimpickins_: The problem with studying ancient Chinese art is I want some Mexican art a half an hour later.