Live today like it's your last. But pay your bills and use a condom just in case it isn't.

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@heatherlarson77: Live today like it's your last.

But pay your bills and use a condom just in case it isn't.

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@IEatChawal: I like to combine danger with awkwardness by falling up stairs.

@kimtopher22: Getting my hair done Monday. Good news for the kids who scream "WITCH" as they pass by my house, bad news for the birds that live in it.

@actualAidenn: my parents: how come you never socialize with the family? me: *sits with family* me: *gets insulted by entire family*

@TheBoydP: Whoever said that collectively women are the fair sex obviously didn't understand the meaning of fair, or women, or maybe even sex...

@HilariousEdited:

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