Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

@heatherlarson77: Live today like it's your last.

But pay your bills and use a condom just in case it isn't.

Live today like it’s your last. But pay your bills and use a condom just in case it isn’t.
16 comments

COMMENTS

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE

@FullMetalMommy: Chin up divorced people; lots of us smug married parents envy your 50/50 custody agreement.

1

@ManvAlcohol: Have I been drinking? Clearly officer, you're no detective.

155

@80want: ?Police Navidad / Police Navidad / Police Navidad, usemos mace y brutalidad?

185

@Flattliner: Rearrange the letters P-N-E-S-I to spell out an important part of human anatomy that is more useful when it is erect. Er... SPINE?

1

@xLiserx: Lonely nights, we've all been here. Pretending to choke so someone hugs you. Pretending a jellyfish stung you so someone pees on you. Usual.

1
↑