@aveuaskew: Liven up any boring conversation by telling people you have a glass eye and then watch them try and figure out which one it is.
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@Marlebean: They say a dog park is a great place to meet guys. I don't have a dog, but I walk around with a bag full of poop so I don't look weird.
@novicefather: This guy just climbed through a thicket of waist-high shrubbery to avoid walking past me. That's the kind of anti-social I aspire to be.
@PaperWash: 4 y/o: how does Santa go to everyone's house in one night me: warp speed 4 y/o: warp speed isn't real me: neither is Santa go to sleep