@shadygeekdad: Living well isn't the best revenge. A crowbar to the head is the best revenge.
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@heyjaadu: I use proper syntax and punctuation on all of my tweets, unless I am in danger of exceeding the 140 character limit... & then u no how it b
@Lord_Voldemort7: Q: Why did Snape stand in the middle of the road? A: So you'll never know which side he's on.
@BuckyIsotope: [wakes up from coma I went into in 1908] so how many more World Series titles have the Cubs won?
@ChribHibble: The best thing about alcohol hand gel in hospitals isn't the hygiene, but that everyone walks around like they're hatching a dastardly plan.