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@Just_Lee_: My revenge for being designated driver is putting my car seat warmers on high and convincing my drunk friends that they pee'd in their pants
@TitansHomer: My daughter just asked for a Samsung Galaxy phone. Had to sit her down and explain to her we aren't poor. #iPhone
@AdamOfEarth: "That's one small step for man. That's one open fridge for man. That's one good sandwich for-" "Neil! Stop." "I WALKED ON THE MOON, JANET"