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@tonsmorecowbell: Somewhere in Africa, a bunch of orphans are about to be running around in confederate flag shirts.
@KittyShittyy: If I had ten cookies and you took one,what would you have? That's correct. A black eye and broken hand.
@PinkCamoTO: Autocorrect changed "you flatter me" to "you flatten me" and shit just got really weird.
@TheAlexNevil: Parenting Hack: slide a little cash your kid's teacher's way, & all of his crafts projects will "mysteriously" disappear after being graded.