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@Tuna_Lover: Just spent $243.57 at the grocery store so the check out girl didn't think I was just buying KY and condoms.
@Marcmywords2: Tequila doesn't make me drunk and disorderly, it just seems that way, cuz Police Reports are all written by cops.
@bourgeoisalien: Only death will keep me from you. Or cake. Or Netflix. Or kittens....hold on, I have a list.
@SureYouDo1: For your anniversary, if your wife asks for something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in 3 seconds...don't get her a bathroom scale. Nope.