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@Itskarleytime: Guy at a bar: wanna come back to my place? Me: *elaborate excuse* Guy: did you just say elaborate excuse?
@djdarrellripley: Her: A girl named "Bambi" called 6 times to see if you could go skinny dipping.. So, do you have a thing to say for yourself? Me: Can I go?
@CantWaitToNap: When a cop talks to you about Miranda, he's not inviting you for a three-way... I know this now.