@NoChillPosts: LMAO SO TRUE
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@Eightinchgoat: *Pulls your panties to the side* *Tries to remember how I even ended up wearing your panties*
@TheMichaelRock: Found a baby snake in my backyard while mowing. Long story short, I don't have to mow anymore since my yard is on fire.
@jwoodham: Asking someone out is so unpredictable. You never know exactly how they're going to say no.
@RandomlyMJ: Thanks to Twitter I will never again ask a man "What are you thinking?" Because now I know and I am horrified.