@sreekyshooter: Lmao @ the people who named their kids Daenerys or Khaleesi. What a bunch of absolute fools. If only they were as wise as me, father to a beautiful baby girl named Detective Pikachu
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@2014longview: Cop pulled me over said "papers" I replied with "scissors, I win" and drove off. Now I'm doing hard time on the rock.
@Cheeseboy22: The Teen Choice Awards has to be the most legit award show because teens always make the best choices.
@_elvishpresley_: [at the hotel california] me: i'd like to check out desk clerk: alright, you're all set me: great, bye desk clerk: oh, but you can never leave me: then why did you let me check out desk clerk: *shrugs*