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@SomthinBoutSara: I'm so stoned........ It took me three tries to turn out the bathroom light. Turns out the toilet flush handle does not control the lights.
@aksorojas: I always have a condom in my wallet in case I get invited to parties and there's not enough balloons for everyone.
@Swishergirl24: My favorite part about family dinner is when my brother says how he made 600K last year and I get to say someone made a clock of my Avi.
@GrillinChillin9: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. -Me with beer, me without beer