YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@better_off_dad: CAT scans are just like regular scans, only the techs push you off the table after.
@sophielou: A group of us were talking about running a 5k; some are planning to power walk it, a few are going to jog at a slow pace and I thought I’m going to just skip the whole thing.
@TheMichaelRock: Wife: what are you doing? Son: I’m in timeout Wife: did you make fun of Taylor Swift again? Me[from the other room] YES HE DID
@flyafuckingkite: When a seeing eye dog poops, who cleans it up? This is the kind of stuff that makes my head hurt.