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@ConcernedSirGuy: Sirs & Ma'ams, It is a well-known fact that when Jesus takes the wheel, He doesn't just stop with the wheel. He takes the stereo too.
@AntoKenya: My girlfriend once told me she was pregnant. I was so excited that I ran to another country and have never seen her from then.
@Caissie: Nobody on this train is decent enough to give up their seat for a pregnant woman & now I gotta stand here w/my sweater balled up in my coat.
@gruffybeard: Her: Why's the couch smell like pee? [Flashback to me watching The Ring alone] Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."