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@zwina_summer: My husband asked me why I never blink during sex, I told him there just isn't enough time.
@Ygrene: Know why I pulled you over? "No sir" 1987, 7-11 on Main, you paid for Coke but filled your cup with Slurpee. We gotcha. We finally gotcha
@PaperWash: "are you sure these x-rays are safe?" [doctor 12 feet away behind a lead wall] you're fine
@Faux_Ma: At my job interview today the Boss said, "You're shaking, don't be so nervous." So I told him, "Oh, I'm not nervous, I'm an alcoholic."