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@lenadunham: To whoever has my old phone number: I truly hope you're enjoying those texts from that guy I met at that thing
@pro_failure: I've stopped trying to explain twitter to my friends and now just say,"I collect tiny imaginary people in my phone using jokes as bait."
@awordforaword: If the radius of a pizza is Z and the thickness is A, then the volume of pizza is PI x Z x Z x A. #asianshowingoff