@Theilluminati80: Lobsters gonna lobst.
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@iRowlf: Prank Idea For The Ladies: Swallow a plastic dinosaur, then make an appointment to get an ultrasound.
@murrman5: My boss said when I'm at work, I should lay off the Doritos. I said "you're the boss if you wanna fire Bob Dorito and his brother you do it"
@slimmy_shady: Honest ads - 'Hot singles in your area want to be just friends'. 'Hot singles in your area think of you more like a brother'.
@HavocMantis: God: "Adam looks kind of lonely down there. What should I do?" Frog: "ribbit" God: "haha, alright man"