@BackrowSeats: Log Entry 21: it's been 3 weeks & we're still lost in this Macy's. We were forced to eat Amy. Polo ties are now 40% off.
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@generaldietz: Baby Soldier: Ma'am. Your husband is MIA. Soldiers wife: *covers crying face with hands* Baby Soldier: Oh great! Now his wife is MIA too.
@dhumann: Psychiatrist: "Your check bounced and was returned for insufficient funds." Me: "So how does that make you feel?"
@Sassafrantz: If you go to the zoo and he doesn't help you steal a monkey, he's not that into you.
@WilliamAder: Turned off my lights for "earth hour". I've never had so many other cars honking at me.