@BackrowSeats: Log Entry 21: it's been 3 weeks & we're still lost in this Macy's. We were forced to eat Amy. Polo ties are now 40% off.
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@AmishPornStar1: Guys, if you waste the opportunity to sing Taylor Swift's "Shake It Off" to other fellas at the urinals, you might as well just use a stall.
@weinerdog4life: Old cordless phones, for when you really need to be on the phone, but also need to sword fight the cat.
@othersome: the waiter grinds me some pepper. "tell me when." i never say 'when'. the restaurant and the city fill with pepper. sky turns black w/ peppr