@squirrel74wkgn: Logic says the screw I dropped should be somewhere by my feet, but science says it's under the couch in the other room.
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@parker287: My friend's crazy, he left a bunch of chocolate balls on the floor in his cat's litter box, they're not that good.
@warhorse76: If she runs away I will pursue her. But since she possesses superior footspeed and cardio I may have to borrow someone's bicycle.
@MrDelFreaky: So, nothing rhymes with orange, huh? *changes name to MC Orange, wins every rap battle, and retires undefeated*
@MelvinofYork: My wife just threatened to kill me in my sleep, which seems much less horrifying than being killed wide awake. She’s always been thoughtful.