@robfee: Lois Lane unexpectedly comes to visit Clark Kent but he can't find his glasses so he has to stick his face in a pie like Mrs. Doubtfire.
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@PaulyMosh: Grandma found out I'm single so I have roughly an hour to find a gf or Ill be getting the 'have you thought about being a priest' talk again
@mistakentweets: Texting...because men didn't have a hard enough time understanding women before so we had to take away the ability to convey tone.
@Death_Buddy: You want just one cow for those magic beans? Idk, I'm suspicious, magic beans sounds like the sort of thing that would cost 2 cows.
@mayamanion: I've been listening to the official workout station on Pandora for 3 months and I'm still fat, I'm calling bullshit.