@apparentlysmart: Lois Lane was fired from the Daily Planet after she knocked Clark Kent's glasses off and then panicked thinking a plane was in the building.
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@illuminatedwndr: AA MEETING Chairman: Please, introduce yourself Eminem: Hi! My name is.. C: What? E: My name is.. C: Who? E: Hi! My name is.. C: Huh?
@Area51eh: Girlfriend mentioned she was lacking iron in her diet.nnnI gave her all my wrinkled shirts.nnnAnd that's how the fight started.
@joejwest: [roulette] ME: [slaps table] 50 on red CROUPIER: Sir that is 50 pictures of Celine Dion ME: Yes and if I win [grabs him] you owe me 50 more