@KenJennings: LOL at people who "love seafood" but won't even eat a silverfish
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@jwoodham: BREAKING: Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider. Boys killed instantly by lack of oxygen.
@007Rex_Inc: M: Come to bed... Her: I have a headache M: You're a robot! H: M: H: ...SELF DESTRUCT [BOOM] M: Nice try but you're still under warranty!
@CornOnTheGoblin: [spooky noise comes from my closet] monster under my bed: you heard that too right
@Traceykemp8: If you`re not going to help me break into my ex`s house to delete the hysterical message i left on his answerphone,then you`re not my friend