@KenJennings: LOL at people who "love seafood" but won't even eat a silverfish
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@badbanana: If you're about to be turned into stone by Medusa, strike a hilarious pose and at least lighten things up for the next guy.
@Merman_Melville: Me: I need a raise Secretly-an-Alien Manager: Yes, it is good to, want to exchange labor for the right amount of delicious green rectangles
@Underchilde: Never ask a woman who is eating ice cream straight from the carton how she’s doing.
@murrman5: lower my casket into the ground and play "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" If you see someone not singing the Wimba Way part, kick them out.