@ShesARealGenius: Lol how "take you out" could mean either we're going on a date or I'm gonna kill you.
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@JustASmirk: My wife is the most beautiful, intelligent person standing right behind me reading my Twitter feed.
@sixfootcandy: Friend: How long will it take you to recover from surgery? Me: That depends on how long my husband is willing to cook, clean, and do the laundry.
@Zoozich: I just really hate it when people start assuming things.nnnJust like my boss he assumes that I'm working just because I came to work today.
@BCMontgo: Then she had the nerve to tell me I had control issues! I'll do this part. *takes scalpel from my surgeon* Surgeon: You should be asleep.