@DanMentos: lol my boss just called me into his office and told me I've been spending too much time on twitter. Hold on he's saying something else now
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@Reverend_Scott: Don't bother using those white packets of seasoning inside new shoes, they taste terrible.
@tuckerflodman: [CIA] -We need you to kill the leader of Russia. "I'll be Putin a bullet in his head. Carl Marx my words!" -Alright! Who invited PunMan?!
@abhorrent_wife: Sometimes I'll show my husband the chewed up food in my mouth just so he's reminded of the delicacy and beauty of the flower he chose.