@UrplePingo: LOL there's like 20 guys w/ "Female Body Inspector" windbreakers that's hilarious they're seizing my hard drive & business records LMAO
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@dinokitten: *at adoption center* "Okay yeah they're all great and all, but which one is the most photogenic for Facebook and stuff like that"
@daemonic3: [2 cavemen] Look what me discover! This game changer! *grabs it* "This hot! Burn fingers. What you call it?" *takes back mixtape* FIRE!
@HairyJew4Life: Me: Why does it take you forever to text me back? *3 hours later* Her: What are you talking about?