@xstonerhumor: lol this is me all the time....."but can I bring weed?"
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@Brianhopecomedy: Did a somersault for the first time in years. I know that's not a good tweet but I'm getting bored lying here waiting for the paramedics.
@withanewname: Neighbor: It's July, you need to take down the xmas lights. Me: It's no worse than your stupid yard gnome. Neighbor: That's my wife.
@tastefactory: A funny thing to do would be to text random numbers with "I got the live bees you sent, they'll do nicely"