@allisulli: LOL"Twitter is better with friends. We found some people you might know". Block Block Block Block
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@FrenulumBreve: "hello pretty lady." [i slide down the bar] "what's your name?" i say as i casually toss a peanut in my eye.
@ArfMeasures: [After winning an award] HOST: Is there anyone you'd like to thank? ME [smiles at wife in the crowd as I lean into the mic] Absolutely not
@ThugPickles: OMG! THERE'S A SERIAL KILLER ON THE LOOSE! "OMG." Wtf are you doing?! "HIDING MY DAMN CEREAL!"