@Smiilze: "LOLZ"? Really? Did you laugh so loud you fell asleep?
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@KimMonte10: Be a sharp dressed man. Buy a suit made of knives. Scare ur boss into promoting u. Cut everyone's sandwiches for them in the break room.
@krisv_723: Me: Siri, how hot does fire need to be to burn a body. Siri: Kris, we go over this once a week. Make a note.
@ibid78: [my 1st day as a doctor] I can't find a pulse [patient] that's a trashcan. I'm over here [me] hold on, I think this trashcan is dying