@thomaswhitehead: London is like the best era of Batman at the moment. Well-orchestrated mild commuter panic and Prince stalking the streets.
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@gojarbe: "and this lake shall be called Superior" all the other Great Lakes: "k wow we're like right here"
@just1fool: My six replaced the toilet paper roll all on her own and now I'm wondering who her real dad is.
@cat_beltane: "so what did you do before self-driving cars?" "we just drove 'em ourselves!" "wow, no one died that way?" "oh no, millions of people died"
@TheTweetOfGod: UPCOMING JESUS APPERANCES 8/3 Pancake, Norfolk, VA 8/10 Cheeto, Salem, OR 8/19 Window stain, Orem, UT 8/23 Vegemite Jar, Perth, AU