@gojarbe: "and this lake shall be called Superior"
all the other Great Lakes: "k wow we're like right here"
@just1fool: My six replaced the toilet paper roll all on her own and now I'm wondering who her real dad is.
@cat_beltane: "so what did you do before self-driving cars?"
"we just drove 'em ourselves!"
"wow, no one died that way?"
"oh no, millions of people died"
@TheTweetOfGod: UPCOMING JESUS APPERANCES
8/3 Pancake, Norfolk, VA
8/10 Cheeto, Salem, OR
8/19 Window stain, Orem, UT
8/23 Vegemite Jar, Perth, AU
@jazmasta: Been flirting with this hot chick in this bar for almost a hour now. It's only a matter of time now till nothing sexual happens whatsoever.
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