@timdonakowski: Long underwear is the fur that God forgot to give us.
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@iamchrisscott: A good comeback when someone doesn't believe you're a time traveler is "Yeah well nobody cried at your funeral."
@notorious_stars: I've decided to write a 'knock knock' joke about Jehovah's witnesses. "Knock, Knock, Knock , knock knock knock knock knock "
@envydatropic: Nothing good can come from a gay man greeting you with an up and down look followed by an "Oh, honey"