@TheMichaelRock: Look, all I'm saying is that the dinosaurs didn't drink alcohol and look what happened to them.
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@KeetPotato: guy: [stands up at front of plane] me: "please don't be overbooked" guy: [pulls gun] "this plane is now under my control" me: "oh thank god"
@Be___Dope: Her: baby can you come up here and play with me? Me: *sprints up stairs Her: I'm kidding. Can you hand me the remote? Me: this is so us
@liv_thatsme: Me: Saw your bf today "Where?" M: What's the name of that gym next door to the gay bar? "Golds?" M: Yeah, in the gay bar next to Golds