@skin_and_i: "Look at me! I'm a ninja!" - 4yo not getting the whole ninja concept yet.
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@OneThirstyNaut: Interviewer: Where did you receive your education? Me: Yale Interviewer: Wow! When did you graduate? Me: I yust got out in Yuly
@Twtercide: Me: I have a date tonight. Friend: A guy coming over to install cable isn't a date. Me: *frowns* But I got a cheese platter....
@EliseRose5: When someone says, "Good luck with that'' they actually mean "Let me grab some popcorn so I can watch you fail."