@tastefactory: Look at this fly rubbing his hands together, what is he up to?
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@isabelzawtun: Me accepting an Oscar: and I'd like to thank the designer who made my beautiful gown: the 5 rats who live in the alley behind my house. Not magical rats that can talk or sing, just a normal regular buncha rats - STOP PLAYING THE MUSIC I'M NOT FINISHED
@thenatewolf: *waits until a bird falls asleep, quietly creeps beside it's nest* HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO ARE YOU AWAKE!?!! HOW DO YOU LIKE THIS!?!
@weinerdog4life: No time to explain, I need 300 copies of this cat! *throws cat at Kinko's employee
@SerialFuckup: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot kill, the courage to blow up the things I can, and the wisdom to not get caught.