@tastefactory: Look at this fly rubbing his hands together, what is he up to?
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@ibid78: Don't even talk to me unless you're an actual cup of coffee. In which case I'd listen to your story as I slowly sip the life from you.
@robfee: Relationships are just two people scrolling through Netflix saying "I don't care, just pick something" until they both turn into skeletons.
@ProdigyNelson: Doctor: we saved your dad but he's part owl now Son: Dad it's me Dad: *head turned 180°* who Son: very funny Doctor: yeah he has amnesia too
@Rachelnoise: Every time I hold a baby I have to talk my ovaries down like a hostage negotiator. "18 to life, man. I KNOW IT SMELLS GOOD! Stay with me."