@jessokfine: Look at you, putting your bag of popcorn into a bowl like the Queen of England.
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@thatdutchperson: [11am] Me: oh look, it's sunny out. Me: I should go running. Me: or swimming! Me: these Doritos are delicious.
@AlexvanBeek: When someone has coordinates in their bio, I feel the need to alert their local police, to counter all the psychos en route to murder them.
@jwoodham: If your building doesn't have an elevator and you don't live on the first floor, we can't date. I'm looking for a relationship, not a gym.
@XplodingUnicorn: If you still had hope for kids today, a teenager in a bookstore pointed to a book title and asked me if it was about World War Two or Eleven