@jessokfine: Look at you, putting your bag of popcorn into a bowl like the Queen of England.
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@MollyERA: "IF YOU'RE HAVING KNITTING PROBLEMS I FEEL BAD FOR YOU SON--" "stop rapping, Grandma" "--I GOT 99 PROBLEMS AND A STITCH AIN'T ONE"
@roadkill3x: Don't waste your time going to the library looking for books on suicide..... no one ever brings them back.
@JohnLyonTweets: I hate it when I try to impress a date by taking her to a nice restaurant and she orders something that isn't on my coupon.