@DBMaxP: Look... don't end your presentation with "Are there any questions?" & then get all pissy when I ask if you can ride a unicycle.
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@ImSarahobo: Me:Did you have a ruff day? Dog: Me:What? That was funny! Dog: Me:Do you not like puns? Dog: Me:I think I'm high. Dog:Did you smoke my weed?
@WilliamAder: I wonder if the Three Wise Men said to Jesus, "Just to be clear, these gifts are for your birthday AND Christmas."
@AmishPornStar1: I'm not saying she's worse than my mom... But my wife doesn't seem to like any of my girlfriends.