@Lazer_Cat_: Look grandma. You told me to bring something to the wake. If you meant a casserole, you should have said so. Now help me load this drum kit.
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@captainkalvis: [my dog runs up to me, bone in his mouth] you better stop bringing these back, we’ve got like 200 more to dispose of
@theshamingofjay: It's a good thing this video game is rated mature because it's going to be babysitting the kids tonight.