@Lazer_Cat_: Look grandma. You told me to bring something to the wake. If you meant a casserole, you should have said so. Now help me load this drum kit.
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@andreeahluscu: Listening to Jay-Z has literally taught me everything I know about whether or not a cop can legally search my car.
@johncheese: I want to hire someone to wake me up each morning by bursting into my room and yelling, "Get dressed and grab your gun -- they found him."
@jonnysun: [throwes some foam packing peanuts into a pond] "HEY! NO LITERING--" shh wait [a flock of rubber duckies float over squeaking excitedley]