@Tmoney68: Look, if I offer you a bite of my calamari, you're bound to offer me a bite of your food. Legally, it's known as Squid Pro Quo.
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@ProudFFAalumni: woke up just in time to push my cat off the bed before he threw up. today is going to be magical.
@Book_Krazy: *Condom Co* [ok, don't let them know ur a frog] "Any ideas how we can make our condoms more pleasurable for her?" ME: Ribbit "Genius"
@jakefromstfarm3: If you are farther than me in candy crush I will automatically think you are smarter than me.
@randomnloveit: Dear people that brush your teeth in the bathroom at work: stop that. You don't live here. Chew gum like the rest of us.